I don’t know about you guys, but I am totally pissed that the summer is coming to a close. Yes, yes, I know fall doesn’t officially start until later in September, but you know what I mean: from a commercial/marketing stand-point, summer is good as dead come this Monday, and that’s all that matters.
These are the things I didn’t accomplish, yet again, this summer: win the Coney Island hot dog eating contest, blast a Rihanna song from my car window, buy illegal fireworks, and get some outlandish hideous haircut and then use the excuse, “it’s the summer, it’ll grow out.”
Therefore, instead of enjoying the last of the sun, surf, outdoor beer gardens and monster sales at the mall I will protest the end of summer by staying in all Labor Day weekend, refuse to change my pajamas, eat frozen burritos and cereal and watch TV. Luckily, there are a lot of TV channels willing to enable me with the ubiquitous long-weekend programming marathons.
Here is a sampling of what I find to be the most promising**:
SATURDAY:
Project Runway/Bravo–FIVE HOURS OF TIM GUNN, beginning at 3 PM ET/PT
Law & Order/TNT–It is so great to see this show get some marathon love because it is NEVER on, ever. Catch six episodes (cherish them, who knows when you’ll see them again!) starting at 6 PM ET/PT
SUNDAY:
Mad Men/AMC–I worship, you know that, get some, starting at 5 PM ET/PT.
Ice Road Truckers/History–The drama isn’t just driving over ice, these guys are fascinating. And the scenery is pretty. Starts at 11 AM ET/PT.
True Life/MTV–The best show on MTV, and almost always a tear-jerker. Also starts at 11 AM ET/PT. This is when having two TV’s comes in handy.
Bridezillas/WE–Watching this show is like watching someone miss their lips when taking a drink: it makes you cringe and laugh at the same time. Runs from 5-10 PM ET/PT.
MONDAY:
City Confidential/Biography–This show is old school and exposes that crime DOES happen in smaller, quaint towns. Starts at 8 AM ET/PT…yikes, might have to get a late start on this one.
Murder She Wrote/Hallmark–Talk about crime in small, quaint towns…the one that Jessica Fletcher lives in is like the murder capital of the world. Oh, and this marathon takes the cake: runs midnight to midnight.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations/Travel–In my next life I want to be Anthony Bourdain. The man knows how to live. Starts 9 AM-all day.
**Check local listings, I don’t want to be held accountable for misinformation.
No, I don’t want to hear about a new coffee table that has the “alphabet” plastered all over it. Big deal, so you have “convertible desks,” who doesn’t? And enough with the “best buys at the farmers market”. 
