Archive for August 26, 2009

Out of the mouths of babes

megan_fox

When Saturday Night Live announced this week that hottie Megan Fox will  host the premiere episode of the 35th season airing on September 26, the sound of fanboys fainting onto their Xbox consoles and computer keyboards could be heard all across this great nation.  Ok, so the kids at SNL have pretty much guaranteed that plenty of eyeballs will tune in, but will they get the laughs?  Is Angelina Jolie’s doppelganger funny?

Since we’ve only really seen her bend over cars, outrun gigantic robot aliens, and straddle motorcycles, who the heck knows? Luckily, we have IMDB to help provide us with some insight. They have this neat little section on each profile page called “Personal Quotes” where they’ve listed interesting things that movie stars have said.  Ms. Fox has about 3,000 quotes on her profile, so I took it upon myself to highlight some of the more “funny-ish” ones.*

  • Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She’s mesmerizing.
  • If I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco.
  • Hollywood is the most superficial thing you could possibly be a part of and if I weren’t attractive I wouldn’t be working at all.
  • I didn’t decide I’m gonna be an actress cause I wanna be respected for how I play chess.
  • I think one day I could be a very good actress. But so far, I haven’t done anything.
  • I’m not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. I’m not Meryl Streep.

*IMDB does not attribute where or when these quotes were pulled, so your guess is as good as mine.

Hmmmm…well, thanks IMDB, but that wasn’t helpful at all. Whatevs, I say let’s give the young lady a shot. There’s no way she could be worse than Paris Hilton. Anyway, I’ll close this post with Ms. Fox’s own words, as I think she puts it best (again, from IMDB):

“I’m definitely labeled in the pin-up category. I haven’t given people a reason to take my work seriously yet, which is my responsibility. I think the expectation for me, as far as my ability as an actress goes, is very low. I feel like that means I can only ever be an over-achiever when people expect so little from me.”

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What would happen if you took “The Sims,” “I, Robot” and “The Matrix” and mixed it all together?

surrogates_poster4-500x365

Ta-da!–you’d get that new Bruce Willis movie, Surrogates, which for weeks now has been taunting me with  those creepy posters of half-naked robots in seductive poses.

Anyway, Surrogates is  a sci-fi thriller where humans become completely home-bound and send out really, really attractive robots to do everything for them, and they watch/live through their experiences via digital robot-cams of some kind.   Something of course goes awry because Bruce Willis is in the movie and he needs to be heroic. And stay true to his bald self. It turns out that his robot surrogate has hair; and to be honest, he looks ridiculous.  He kind of resembles a thinner version of Homer Simpson, wearing a blond toupee.

And yes, despite the fact that Surrogates is essentially a film cocktail consisting of the “The Sims,” I, Robot and The Matrix, it looks mildly interesting, as far as robot movies go. It opens September 25, check out the trailer…

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