How to Fill the Void After Lost Goes Away

With the finale of LOST just weeks away, what are we going to do with all our extra free time since we won’t be watching the show, re-watching it, talking about it, and spending hours online obsessing over clues and hidden meanings??

Hey, I know—let’s just FIND more TV to watch!! *applause*

Luckily, there are a bunch of series premieres and returning favorites coming up this summer. Below is a list of some shows (all scripted) that caught my eye (in date order—but please check local listings as dates may change):

SERIES PREMIERES:

June 6

June 7

  • Persons Unknown (NBC) – Mystery drama from Oscar-winning writer of The Usual Suspects
  • The Good Guys (FOX) – Action comedy starring Colin Hanks (son of Tom) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing)—special preview May 19 on FOX

June 8

  • Pretty Little Liars (ABC Fam) – Let’s breakdown the formula: Gossip Girl – New York City + darker secrets = Pretty Little Liars

June 16

  • Hot in Cleveland (TV LAND) – Comedy starring Valerie Bertinelli (One Day at a Time), Jane Leeves (Frasier), Wendie Malick (Just Shoot Me) and…Betty White!

June 20

  • Scoundrels (ABC) – Comedy drama starring Virginia Madsen (Sideways)
  • The Gates (ABC) – A series about “a private mountain community” with a “dark and delicious secret”

June 24

  • Rookie Blue (ABC) – Drama about, you guessed it, rookie cops

June 29

  • Louie (FX) – Comedian Louie C.K. (SNL, Lucky Louie) returns to TV

Aug 1

  • Rubicon (AMC) – AMC’s latest scripted drama, which means it will probably be good

RETURNING SERIES:

June 3

June 13

  • True Blood (HBO) – The sexy vampire series returns for its third season

June 24

  • Futurama (Comedy) – It has been a long wait, but finally, new episodes! and on a new channel!

July 6

  • Warehouse 13 (Syfy) – It’s only a matter of time before they come across the lost ark

July 9

  • Eureka (Syfy) – Another season of antics in a small scientifically-enhanced town

July 25

  • Mad Men (AMC) – One of the best shows in TV history returns for its fourth season

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…Pop…Culture…Bites…

  • Betty White’s dusty muffin gave Saturday Night Live its highest ratings in over a year. – NY Times
  • The other thing people watched this weekend was Iron Man 2. – E!
  • Some sad news to report: legendary singer and actress Lena Horne passed away last night. – NY Daily News
  • The Lost finale extravaganza is going to be hours and hours, and involves Jimmy Kimmel. – TV Guide
  • Mystery! No one can figure out if Joaquin Phoenix’s documentary is real or a farce. – LA Times

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The 1980s Called, They Want Their Movies Back

A remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street hits theaters this weekend…and a remake of The Karate Kid comes out in June…and of course, we just had the Clash of the Titans remake released earlier this month. All these remakes got me thinking/researching and OMG, there are a lot of films from the 80′s getting remade! What does this mean, that we’ve really run out of fresh ideas? Seriously, somebody get me some Mad Libs stat, I’ll come up with something…anything is better than trying to ruin Dirty Dancing or resurrecting Police Academy.

Below is a list of some 80′s movies with remakes in the works (accompanied with my opinions for each one). What do you think??

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)  – This remake (either to be titled Further Adventures in Babysitting or The Sitter, based on my research) has Jonah Hill starring as the babysitter. He’s a funny guy, but seriously, he could be just as funny if not funnier in something original. Besides, who the heck is going to confuse him with a Playboy centerfold?!

An American Werewolf in London (1981)  – It was announced last year that John Landis sold the remake rights to this classic horror film, which Dimension films purchased. I say let’s just stop there and not disturb this one.

Arthur (1981)  – This was an entertaining movie for it’s time, but certainly not a work of art that can’t be improved. I’m kind of intrigued by this remake, definitely not because Russell Brand is starring as Arthur, but that the director, Jason Winer, is one of the producers/directors of Modern Family.

Dirty Dancing (1987)  – I am against this for so many reasons. I’m not going to go cliché and say that this film defined a generation or anything, but it certainly had a huge impact. To remake this is a complete waste of time because no effort will ever measure up.

Escape From New York (1981)  – Futuristic/post-apocalyptic/it’s the end of the world and everything has gone to s**t movies are enormously popular, so why not revisit some of the older films and update them a bit. I’m cool with that. Although, I imagine some serious die-hard fans of this movie would not agree.

Footloose (1984) – I’m going to put this in the same category as Dirty Dancing. Some 80′s movies should not be messed with. And I especially don’t like how commercial they want to go with the casting of this remake.

Fright Night (1985)  – It has become very obvious that movie studios love to remake horror films. I don’t agree with some of the classics, but in this case, this movie was so campy that I don’t mind it so much.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1985)  – This is another one of those 80′s movies that one shouldn’t touch.  It’s the film that helped launch the careers of Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt, and it was a staple for at least a decade’s worth the slumber parties.

Mannequin (1987) – Although I loved this movie, and it is one of the three films Andrew McCarthy and James Spader appeared in together (Pretty in Pink and Less Than Zero are the other two), this movie could certainly use a makeover.

Overboard (1987) – What made this film tolerable in the first place was that it starred a real-life couple (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell). Unless they go there again, I think this movie remake is unnecessary.

Police Academy (1984) – Apparently there is a remake in the works, but according to IMDB, the upcoming Police Academy is going to be the 8th in the series; which makes more sense to me than restarting the whole franchise again. But either way, another Police Academy movie is not really needed.

Poltergeist (1982) – According to reports, production has been pushed back, and it doesn’t seem entirely clear if the project will actually happen. I for one, absolutely hope not. This is a true classic film that has aged well and requires no tampering whatsoever.

Private Benjamin (1980) – I don’t think this film is so much about remaking the original, but trying to turn Anna Faris into the next Goldie Hawn, which isn’t too far off if you ask me.

Red Dawn (1984) – I’m not entirely sure why, but I don’t feel as sentimental about this 80′s ensemble film as so many others. So I say what the heck. However, if anyone attempts to remake The Outsiders, which also also starred C. Thomas Howell and Patrick Swayze, then there’s going to be trouble.

Romancing the Stone (1984) – I dare Hollywood to top the pairing of Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in the remake of this classic romantic comedy. And good luck finding a comparable Danny DeVito casting…in other words, maybe you kids should leave this original alone.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) – This could be interesting, and one of the few Burt Reynolds movies that could be remade without him and be just as good. The Dolly Parton part though, those are some big cups, er I mean shoes to fill. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

The NeverEnding Story (1984)  – Some heavy hitters are in talks to remake this, including Leo DiCaprio’s production company. I imagine it will be done almost entirely in CGI that it’ll feel like a brand new movie anyway.

Vacation (1983) – Some would call this a sequel while others might call it a remake. So I guess that means we could call it a se-make…premise is similar to the first film, but this time it’s Rusty that takes his family to Wally World. Twist!

Vision Quest (1985) – This was an 80′s movie that had it all: high school sports, a young man in love with an older woman, Madonna, and Michael Schoeffling—who went on to be the hottie of the decade as Sixteen Candle’s Jake Ryan. Yeah, there’s too much historical significance with this one, any remake would be a disaster.

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…Pop…Culture…Bites…

  • The  guy (Isaiah Mustafa) from the Old Spice ads made it onto People’s Most Beautiful List! And so did Gloria from Modern Family! But ugh, so did that Justin Bieber character. That kid is everywhere, and it’s driving me bananas. Someone please for the love of anything make him take a vacation or something. — My Fashion Juice
  • The latest in Sandra Bullock News: she’s filed for divorce. — EW
  • Her idiot soon-to-be ex-husband responds. — People
  • Courtney Love opens her mouth again. — US
  • Remember Sean Young? Way before the internet and cell phones she was on her way to becoming a promising film actress (Blade Runner, No Way Out, Wall Street). Then she starred in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and everything seemed to go downhill from there. – Soapnet

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